The Love You Give is the Love You Know
Have you ever noticed how the way you love others is often shaped by the love you’ve received? Whether it’s from family, friendships, or past relationships, we tend to mirror what we’ve been shown. But what if the love we’ve known isn’t the love God intended for us?
The Problem: A Skewed Definition of Love
Many of us have experienced love that’s conditional, transactional, or even painful. Love that says:
- “I’ll love you if you meet my expectations.”
- “I love you because you benefit me.”
- “I love you, but only until you disappoint me.”
When we only know this kind of love, we often repeat it. We withhold love when we’re hurt, expect love to be earned, or fear love won’t last.
But here’s the truth: Real love isn’t about what we’ve experienced—it’s about what God has designed.
God’s Love Sets the Standard
The Bible shows us a different kind of love—one that isn’t based on performance, feelings, or fleeting circumstances. God loves us not because we deserve it, but because it is His nature to love.
1 John 4:19 – “We love because he first loved us.”
This verse is powerful. It means:
- We don’t originate love—God does.
- Our ability to love well comes from first experiencing God’s love.
- If we struggle to love, we may need to go back to the source.
What Happens When We Love Like Jesus?
When we experience God’s unconditional love, it transforms the way we love others. Instead of mirroring past hurts, we reflect His heart:
- Love without conditions – (Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”)
- Love that forgives – (Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”)
- Love that endures – (1 Corinthians 13:7: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”)
So, How Do You Love Better?
If you’ve struggled with giving or receiving love, the answer isn’t trying harder. It’s about knowing God’s love first.
- Spend time in scripture that reveals His love (start with Romans 8:38-39).
- Pray and ask God to show you His love in a personal way.
- Let go of the past models of love that don’t align with His truth.
The love you give is the love you know. Make sure the love you know is from the One who created it.
Reflection Question:
What kind of love have you been giving? Is it a reflection of God’s love—or something else?
Drop a comment and let’s talk about it.
