The Psychology of Helping: Why Do Some People Give More Than Others?
People react to the needs of others in different ways. Some give generously, sacrificing time, money, and effort. Others hesitate, calculating the cost before acting. Then, some walk away altogether, feeling that their help wouldn’t make a difference. Why is this? What drives a person to help—or to hold back?
The Bible presents contrasting examples of generosity and reluctance, offering insight into why some people give more than others.
Giving as a Natural Response or a Calculated Decision?
Some give instinctively. The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) didn’t hesitate. He saw a wounded man on the road and acted. He didn’t weigh the risks, ask who was responsible, or wonder if it was worth his time. He simply helped.
Others, like the priest and the Levite in the same parable, passed by. They might have had reasons—fear, inconvenience, religious obligations—but their decision was ultimately one of self-preservation.
This contrast reflects two mindsets about giving:
- Compassion-first giving—seeing a need and responding immediately.
- Logic-first giving—evaluating the cost and potential risks before deciding to help.
The Role of Personal Experience in Generosity
People who have experienced hardship often give more freely. The Bible shows this in the story of the widow of Zarephath (1 Kings 17:8-16). Despite having almost nothing, she shared her last meal with Elijah. Her generosity wasn’t from excess but from trust that God would provide.
On the other hand, the rich young ruler (Mark 10:17-22) had everything but was unwilling to part with it. His possessions defined his security, making it difficult to give them up.
Experience plays a role in generosity. Those who have faced struggles often empathize more deeply. Those who have only known abundance may struggle to part with their wealth, fearing what life without it might look like.
The Fear of Being Taken Advantage Of
Some hold back from giving because they fear being deceived. Proverbs 19:17 says, “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.” But what if the recipient misuses the help?
This question keeps many from giving. No one wants to feel foolish or exploited. But Jesus addressed this concern directly in Matthew 5:42: “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” He didn’t say to verify their worthiness first. He emphasized a spirit of generosity over self-protection.
Yet, Proverbs 21:5 also reminds us, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” Thoughtless giving isn’t wise either. There is a balance between generosity and discernment.
Does Giving Reflect Our Trust in God?
At its core, giving reveals what we trust in. If we believe that resources are scarce, we hold onto them tightly. But if we believe in an abundant God, we are free to give, knowing that provision will come.
2 Corinthians 9:6-7 reminds us: “Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
Generosity is not just about helping others—it’s about faith.
Why Some Give More Than Others
So why do some people give more freely? The answer lies in a mix of factors:
- Mindset: Some see helping as a burden; others see it as a privilege.
- Experience: Those who have struggled often empathize more.
- Fear: Worry about being used or running out of resources holds people back.
- Trust: Believing that God provides frees people to give.
Some hesitate, calculating the risk. Others give immediately, trusting that provision will follow. Neither is necessarily wrong, but Scripture leans toward a heart of generosity—not because it’s always logical, but because it reflects God’s character.
In the end, how we give isn’t just about others. It reveals what we truly believe.
